This is a recent interview I did for the Center for Spiritual Wisdom:
From Rob Field, the Director:
“And if you’d like to hear my full 30-minute conversation with Dr. Mary Ann Iyer, you can enjoy it here”:
Cheers! MA
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I just got a call from Saren’s husband.
She’s dead.
Which is why she hasn’t answered my phone calls these last number of months.
A nasty fall. A broken hip. A decline. Hospice. The plight of so many older women.
My dear Saren.
I’ve been flashing on bits of our past ever since.
The nights out after one or another’s most recently failed relationship.
The Vision Quests in the wilderness of the Cascades.
The deep understanding.
The capacity for listening that is so rare.
And the night she sat on the side of my ed and asked bluntly: “Would you be OK if I was in this relationship you are in – going through what you are?”
Which proved to be the pivotal words that sank in and turned me around – and out – of an abusive, oppressive relationship that was dragging me into a perpetual mire that I really was stuck in.
Saren.
Why am I sharing all this? With my horror of exposing vulnerabilities?
Because. Believer me. Really and truly – for each and every person you love – there will be a last thing you will have said to them.
Best to presume each thing might be that last one thing.
The recent workshop I led on “Aging as a Spiritual Practice” was so delightful. The shared wisdom in the group reverberated. I realized how very much I love sharing time with elders who are invested in growing in self-understanding – and to do this as a group was delicious.
I wrote a poem, on the back of a slip of paper – sort of a tongue-in-cheek bit of humor. A couple of folks asked me for a copy of it afterward — so I’ll share it with you, too. Perhaps you’ll enjoy the humor — and understand! – also.
Coming together – all the loose shards of my life. What to call this? “Retirement” hardly seems to qualify. Although I do seem to be tired, a lot. Memories, in part, the fragments of my mind drifting through hazy, lazy days in a sometimes frenzy. Wanderings, a fair bit, the mind wondering what – if anything – might motivate me to put in time - and energy – to “step up to the plate,” “volunteer,” “pay back” (whatever does that even mean?) I do seem to be tired, a lot. Curious, still, what the day and days will hold. Grateful, often for deeper and deepening relations. With those I’ve known and are still meeting. Awestruck at the way the changing light of the seasons glint off the old log pile in the back. That can’t be new – yet – to me, it is. What is left, then – without the alarm propelling me into the busy days of clinic-life? “Re-tired” OK, Well. Let’s just see where these new treads will go.