MaryAnn Iyer, MD | Blog

Inner Focus

change Inner Value Mind-Body Healing mindfulness Pssibilities

There is so much conflict in the world right now. So many individuals with ideas of how things should be – with little to no interest, it seems, to hear an alternative narrative. With siloed sources of information and the rallying cries of support for one side only, we become immune to the humanity of those with an opposing view.

Paradoxically, coming to a place in which we can listen to one another requires learning to actually hear ourselves. Not with a harshness – but with a sense of honesty about our own vulnerability. Our own fear of loss – maybe even of our very own selves – as defined by our position. Fundamentally, the remedy to what ails us is to become more self-reflective. More aware of our own inner state. Many tell me they already know all about “mindfulness” – but I don’t see the evidence. It is the application beyond the intellectual understanding that will make a difference here.

This is challenging. Why? Because the racing thoughts of our anxious mind are addictive. Akin to a caffeine fix they can keep us stimulated and feeling alive. To sink back down into the wake of our boat’s movement can be frightening. Immediately the fears that have been chasing us in our pell-mell flight start to careen to the surface. The apparent evidence for our agitation immediately comes back to support our previous state.

Notice, notice – this breath. This moment. Right where you are. This is the difference between knowing about and applying mindfulness. Attending to the inner state can be disruptive. In the pause we discover our own contribution to the malady at hand. Yet, this is the essential first step in healing the addictive disruption of our times. Notice what you bring to the table – the the conversation. Notice the influence of your state of being.

Learning to pause. To stop. To take in the environment both around us and within us in any given circumstance is the prerequisite to make long-lasting and necessary change. We must know the actual circumstance with the precision of accuracy to know the actual proper next step in any situation. And to recognize our own self in all of this.

Let go of the idea of mindfulness as something you already know. Practice, practice.

How You Spend Your Life

Inner Value

We have one short life. How do you want to spend it?

I know those who say if you are not upset, you’re not paying attention. And if you’re not watching the news non-stop, you’re not keeping up on things. I disagree. Yes, the world may be crazy – but what about your mind? Yes, it would be normal to have an internal reaction/response to some of the recent events in our country. But, to keep regurgitating/upsetting your own internal state of affairs – that’s on you. How does this help anything? In fact, it creates harm in its own unique way. Internal dysfunction adds to the injury of the original event. I notice I start to avoid those in constant states of agitation as being part of the overall turmoil of the time.

This is not to be confused with not doing anything. Sometimes our internal responses of anguish or anger to injustice do motivate us to take useful action. But notice – if you are in a stew and constantly replaying harmful events in a circuitous mental loop – this is harming not only you but adding to the dismay of those around you.

Try this: take one day – just one whole day – with no media. No T.V. No smart phone, checking the news. No computer. See how that goes. How you feel. Can you do it? Can you see/feel the characteristic sensations of addiction creep up if you don’t check these things?

To the extent that what we are “keeping up on” is simply feeding the addiction of constant adrenal stimulation it is not healthy. It is not truly helping – anything or anybody. Instead, we can center down deeply inside ourselves and ask: “What is the one thing I can do, say, or be right now that can contribute in a positive way to this situation at hand?”

We have one short life. How do you want to spend it?

Dive Deeper

Kindness Love Mind-Body Healing

I have spent some good amount of time and energy squaring off on the inner demons spawned and nurtured in the difficult early years of my life. Years spent chasing the right man, the right job, the right circumstance brought me up short so often, I just sat down. Stopped. Learned to look within at the terrain with a penetration that comes only to the desperate.

What I have come to realize, at the bottom of all this is that Love is general, neutral and always available, independent of any given person. It is more of an atmosphere. The depth and fullness of this is truly huge. Infinite so far as I know. And any of us can tap into this – and offer it to ourselves. It is a daily process and choice – and oh-so-sweet to settle in with the kindness of this ever-present, alive place within us. It means noticing and not buying into the habitual thoughts that drive us around in circles of anguish.

And we can welcome guests into that space with us. Share. But it comes from within us first. If another has clearly awakened to this realization and we have the incredible good fortune to be in their Presence, we should recognize this as a rare, extremely precious gift.

What I know is that unhappiness is the turbulence on the surface of the water. Problems can never be solved there. Dive deeper and it is still. Precious, glimmering, kind, and healing.