A friend was recently complaining about not being able to have spiritual conversations with her sister. Even though this particular woman isn’t exactly great at communicating, she cares for their mother, volunteers at a number of charities and has sent my friend money when she wasn’t making enough to make ends meet.

I used to think that to be spiritual looked a certain way. I’ve chosen friends and relationships based on whether I felt understood or able to communicate on my own terms.  Even worse, I have judged others for the ways they don’t line up with my idea of “spiritually evolved.”

But I wonder.

The image we have of what spirituality should look like – how often do we question that?

My image has mostly centered around an unruffled, peaceful countenance and basically infinite equanimity. Since I and no one I know actually ever quite fits that image it has given plenty of free fodder for the harsh critic in my mind.

I’ve wondered though – where does the raging part of the river fit into that schema? The turbulent waves of a storm?

Aren’t they all part of this – God’s great world?

I also notice that when I embrace every single aspect of what arises in me as – just that- yet another aspect of the creative force at work, I get ever so much (paradoxically) calm about it.

The thing is, when there is room – for it all – we do feel more peaceful. We aren’t trying to push away anything. Which takes energy and creates tension.

This isn’t to say we should not use discernment in who we hang out with or with whom we develop deep relations.

But, sitting in judgment – there’s the boil.  When we realize that inherent in their lives, every person is suffering – in some big or small way, it becomes easier to accept them where they’re at. And to accept with equanimity each thing – inner and outer – there is the peace we’ve been seeking.

There truly is room for it all.