Aging as Spiritual Practice,

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Ode to Saren

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Aging as Spiritual Practice, change death listening

I just got a call from Saren’s husband.

                She’s dead.

Which is why she hasn’t answered my phone calls these last number of months.

A nasty fall. A broken hip. A decline. Hospice. The plight of so many older women.

                My dear Saren.

I’ve been flashing on bits of our past ever since.

The nights out after one or another’s most recently failed relationship.

The Vision Quests in the wilderness of the Cascades.

The deep understanding.

The capacity for listening that is so rare.

And the night she sat on the side of my ed and asked bluntly: “Would you be OK if I was in this relationship you are in – going through what you are?”

Which proved to be the pivotal words that sank in and turned me around – and out – of an abusive, oppressive relationship that was dragging me into a perpetual mire that I really was stuck in.

                Saren.

Why am I sharing all this?  With my horror of exposing vulnerabilities?

Because. Believer me.  Really and truly – for each and every person you love – there will be a last thing you will have said to them.

Best to presume each thing might be that last one thing.

Aging Poem

Aging as Spiritual Practice, change Divine Grace emotional health fulfillment Kindness Serenity spirituality truth

The recent workshop I led on “Aging as a Spiritual Practice” was so delightful. The shared wisdom in the group reverberated. I realized how very much I love sharing time with elders who are invested in growing in self-understanding – and to do this as a group was delicious.

I wrote a poem, on the back of a slip of paper – sort of a tongue-in-cheek bit of humor. A couple of folks asked me for a copy of it afterward — so I’ll share it with you, too. Perhaps you’ll enjoy the humor — and understand! – also.

Coming together –
all the loose shards of my life.
What to call this?
“Retirement” hardly
     seems to qualify.
 
Although I do seem to be
     tired, a lot.
 
Memories, in part,
   the fragments of my mind
drifting through hazy, lazy days
    in a sometimes frenzy.
 
Wanderings, a fair bit,
      the mind wondering what –
if anything – might motivate me
      to put in time
- and energy – to “step up to the plate,”
“volunteer,” “pay back” (whatever
does that even mean?)
 
I do seem to be
     tired, a lot.
 
Curious, still,
   what the day and days
will hold.
   Grateful, often
for deeper and deepening
   relations.
 
With those I’ve known
and are still meeting.
   Awestruck at
the way the changing
light of the seasons
   glint off the old log pile
in the back.
 
That can’t be new –
    yet –
to me, it is.
 
  What is left, then –
without the alarm
propelling me into the
busy days of
   clinic-life?
 
“Re-tired”
     OK,
  Well.
Let’s just see
where these new
treads will go.
 
   

Aging as a Spiritual Practice

Aging as Spiritual Practice, Divine Grace emotional health gratitude Kindness possibilites Serenity spirituality True Self

I am teaching a 3 week workshop on Aging as a Spiritual Practice at the Center for Spiritual Wisdom in Brevard.  We have an amazing group of elders who are so wise and engaged in this process, I am truly humbled and in awe. I think some of you who are readers of my blog would appreciate the information from our last class.

The invitation in the second class was to review our place in the context of our lineage by entering deeply into the awareness of our mother (for the women)/father (for the men).  Imagine living their lives – in their times – under their circumstances.  Then zoom up to a birdseye view to observe the patterns of the lineage into which you were born.  See how you fit into that, and continue to play out the patterns of your heritage.  Notice of that what is helpful/useful – and what you might want to change. You can.  This is free will and choice.

The homework for the week was to continue to notice the patterns – and making conscious choices relative to what you see.

Then we wrote – and read – the obituary that might be written for us NOW and most especially we noticed what we wished could have been in there.  And, again – realize that now is the time to address that!  Choices.

Insights from this class:

All of us feel a certain vulnerability at this time of our lives.  If we stay with this – sink deeper into it as an invitation – we can see a way of being that is more honest.  More grounded. More real. More truly present with life and those around us. Be very patient; kind to self.  All we’ve done has worth. Now we can see/appreciate God’s creation more deeply. By being more quiet, we can invite the Divine in – right in and through us while still on earth.

Paradoxically, while feeling less able to “do”, we can practice more deeply the doing of the Divine through us. It is the will of the ego that is getting weaker here. Don’t fight this. Let it be. Let it rest. Lean into, open up to, allow the breath of the Divine to penetrate more deeply. As we are less ego driven – more present without resistance – we become part of the Gift of God to the planet.

This is the invitation of this time of our Life

Welcome that! Be curious – Let yourself be supported by the Hand of the Divine.