Mind-Body Healing

18 posts

Inner Focus

There is so much conflict in the world right now. So many individuals with ideas of how things should be – with little to no interest, it seems, to hear an alternative narrative. With siloed sources of information and the rallying cries of support for one side only, we become immune to the humanity of those with an opposing view.

Paradoxically, coming to a place in which we can listen to one another requires learning to actually hear ourselves. Not with a harshness – but with a sense of honesty about our own vulnerability. Our own fear of loss – maybe even of our very own selves – as defined by our position. Fundamentally, the remedy to what ails us is to become more self-reflective. More aware of our own inner state. Many tell me they already know all about “mindfulness” – but I don’t see the evidence. It is the application beyond the intellectual understanding that will make a difference here.

This is challenging. Why? Because the racing thoughts of our anxious mind are addictive. Akin to a caffeine fix they can keep us stimulated and feeling alive. To sink back down into the wake of our boat’s movement can be frightening. Immediately the fears that have been chasing us in our pell-mell flight start to careen to the surface. The apparent evidence for our agitation immediately comes back to support our previous state.

Notice, notice – this breath. This moment. Right where you are. This is the difference between knowing about and applying mindfulness. Attending to the inner state can be disruptive. In the pause we discover our own contribution to the malady at hand. Yet, this is the essential first step in healing the addictive disruption of our times. Notice what you bring to the table – the the conversation. Notice the influence of your state of being.

Learning to pause. To stop. To take in the environment both around us and within us in any given circumstance is the prerequisite to make long-lasting and necessary change. We must know the actual circumstance with the precision of accuracy to know the actual proper next step in any situation. And to recognize our own self in all of this.

Let go of the idea of mindfulness as something you already know. Practice, practice.

Dive Deeper

I have spent some good amount of time and energy squaring off on the inner demons spawned and nurtured in the difficult early years of my life. Years spent chasing the right man, the right job, the right circumstance brought me up short so often, I just sat down. Stopped. Learned to look within at the terrain with a penetration that comes only to the desperate.

What I have come to realize, at the bottom of all this is that Love is general, neutral and always available, independent of any given person. It is more of an atmosphere. The depth and fullness of this is truly huge. Infinite so far as I know. And any of us can tap into this – and offer it to ourselves. It is a daily process and choice – and oh-so-sweet to settle in with the kindness of this ever-present, alive place within us. It means noticing and not buying into the habitual thoughts that drive us around in circles of anguish.

And we can welcome guests into that space with us. Share. But it comes from within us first. If another has clearly awakened to this realization and we have the incredible good fortune to be in their Presence, we should recognize this as a rare, extremely precious gift.

What I know is that unhappiness is the turbulence on the surface of the water. Problems can never be solved there. Dive deeper and it is still. Precious, glimmering, kind, and healing.

Healing Kindness

I was buying shoes the other day. The saleslady was so helpful! Kind, deep, present, engaged and interested in the life situation for which I was buying these shoes. Or at least she listened with patient kindness when I went on about it. I had the strongest urge to scooch over on my bench and pat the cushion next to me and ask her to sit for awhile. Just so I could enjoy her Presence a bit.

In my work as a physician, I have often gotten credit for being kind, especially when I have attended those through the last months of their lives. People say, “I couldn’t do that work.” I love being with people at the end of their lives because, oddly, that’s the time we most open up to be interested in matters of great import. I love being with people who get right down to being real without pretenses. Who are focused on sorting out at a deep level what the priorities of living really are, anyway. So, for me, this just happens to be an environment where it’s “accepted” that to focus on spiritual things is the norm. By spiritual, I mean “way-of-being” things – how have I been, what do I regret, what do I so wish I had done differently, what do I feel satisfied with?

Running the full scale of Kubler-Rossian emotions is part of demonstrating an authenticity that has often been obscured through a lifetime of niceness-to-fit-in. It seems that when we’re on the way out, we tend to get more “real” – maybe because fitting in on planet earth has abruptly become an obsolete concept.

Back to the woman at Belk. I love how she showed up. Standing there, with shoeboxes piled high, she was a living example of how you can be a healer any time, anywhere. This is important. You don’t have to be a physician or nurse to do this. Anyone can show up. Be present. Be kind.

My plea to you today is to do this. Because – you are a healer. No matter where you are or what you do. And we all need you.